Unexpected Whisper - part II

She felt so small in that room…

As she closed the door, Hitomi tried to take a deep breath and control all her emotions, as wild and disordered as they were. Many minutes passed by and she just stood still, like she was waiting for something to happen. Actually, she was feeling all her body going numb, and despite all her efforts she just couldn´t move at all. Her head was about to explode, with many thoughts appearing and going, going and growing, growing and disappearing, just like someone doing a desperate brainstorm with her mind. How could she get over it? There was no answer to that, and even if there was one, she didn´t knew it at that endlessly sour moment.

The darkness became everything, since she didn´t turn on the lights. She thought it was better in that way, not being able to see anything so her mind could get a break. Just her, and nothing else. But the many things on her head just kept on, pushing her nervousness to become despair. She wanted so badly to think on nothing, but instead she got more pressure, more pain. Her body wasn´t responding, so she just stood right there so close to her apartments´ door, with nothing else to do. So broken inside, it was just a matter of time before she felt all the weight on heart, and in that situation she didn´t knew what could happen. It´s was too scary for her.

“I don´t want to think…”

She wanted to fight… Feel better…

“I don’t want to think…”

It was too hard for her…

“I want to clear my mind…”

It was too much…

“I want this to stop…”

It was just impossible…

“STOP!”

But the feeling didn´t go away. She felt sad that in the end, it was all her fault…

She felt so small in that room… So lonely…